As this is my first time writing one of these, I thought I’d set the scene for its construction. I got home, had dinner and am now sat at my keyboard. I have the Proclaimers on in the background (yes, I know we have been nowhere near Scotland), and I have found out my flatmate has been keeping welsh cakes in the freezer from me. Now I will introduce my trip report with a quote from the severed head in the Knight Bus – if anyone has taken the night bus to bristol, can you confirm if it is accurate?
“Take her away, Ern. It is going to be a bumpy ride. Ahahhha”
Saturday
My alarm went off, and it was still dark outside; I immediately pressed snooze. The day had begun. We all made our way with excitement to our assigned pickup point, with only a few late arrivals. Note to Sam Boston for his efficiency in getting up at the stated start time. I got into the car with Amy, and she immediately asked if we should get petrol. Whilst in the petrol station, I got a call from JJ asking where we were meant to be going whilst he was waiting for Sam. A brilliant start!
Otherwise, I think the journey went smoothly, with only one phone call about a missed junction. We stopped in the car with Amy to pick up her dog Bonnie, a regular on the trip! I want to give a shout-out to Amy’s timing when she asked me to pass her a croissant just as the road got twisty. We had arrived!
After Adam’s lacklustre speech, we reached the first challenge. The hill up onto the ridge line. Layers were taken off, and layers were put back on. Sweat dripped, and the Brecon Beacons became a tropical paradise, very much similar in every single way to the Bahamas.
Now, I have to promise that we are not a cult (despite what googling BUMC might bring up). Adam had looked on the map and seen a trig point only a hundred metres away. The scenes I saw in the distance. It looked like Stonehenge on a solstice. I think they enjoyed themselves. See the photos and make up your own opinion.
We set off along the ridge line towards Corn Du (pronounced Corn D)(meaning black horn in English). The Bahamas suddenly became more Welsh, and I think everyone stopped to put on more layers. We made it and stopped for our first group photo. In what I believe will become a common theme throughout the year. Claire avoided being in this one.
But it was in sight: Everest, the Elgin Marbles, Giza - Pen-y-Fan (Pen-uh-van), the highest point in the UK south of Snowdonia. A staggering 886 m of displacement above sea level. Here we stopped for some more photos. I know I, for one, got a new dating profile picture. We also got another group photo. Claire seems to appear willingly in this photo, do not be fooled! Following some engagement from the club, a member of the public wrestled her phone away from her.
We descended from the top of the epic mountain, stopping at the bottom of Cribyn for a quick lunch stop. Time to put more clothes on, the Bahamas were feeling more like the back of my fridge now. Bonnie was well-behaved, and a stick distracted her from our packed lunches.
We got moving again and bravely decided to skirt around the bottom of Cribyn. On our way to the next peak of the day. Fan-y-Big (apparently, that is funny to some people. Personally, I don’t get it, but then again, I find what I am writing now mildly amusing. So maybe I am the weirdo) or as it is pronounced in welsh van-uh-big.
A small group of what can only be described as heroes for making it thus far. (Think David Bowie) decided to head back to the car whilst the others made the ascent to the top. We immediately stopped for more photos, even having a #titanicmoment on the ledge.
At this point, Adam stated he needed four or five layers to stay alive. I was fine with my £4 Aldi fleece and a rain jacket, although all images of the Bahamas were long gone. We descended back down and made the final push back to the cars.
Sam Boston and Jon decided that they wanted to go to a carvery. I considered it for a moment, and when Amy asked where they were going, the face she pulled at the mere mention of Toby Carvery Newport made the decision for me.
Now I am not sure how to put this bit in here. I feel like I owe everyone an apology. I missed the last bit of the expedition. I stopped for a wee in some bushes, only catching up with the group again at the cars. To quote directly from my colleague.
“A long, monotonous final push was made to bring the group back to the car park and to bring us to an end.”
We journeyed home, and despite the lack of phone signal, everyone made it back onto the M4. I managed to embarrass myself one more time by exclaiming that it had gotten dark really quickly to the reply.
“Yeah, that’s what happens when the sun goes down.”
All in all, I think it was a fantastic trip. I wish to give a big shout-out to our drivers: Aaron, Amy, Claire, Eleanor and Jj. I also thank my colleague, Adam. It was amazing that we didn’t get lost all day.
Ollie
Walking Secretary (2022-23)