Recently, Vogue published an article asking if having a boyfriend is embarrassing and, unsurprisingly,
Recently, Vogue published an article asking if having a boyfriend is embarrassing and, unsurprisingly, it set the internet on fire. The piece frames romantic attachment as somehow uncool, unnecessary, or even a “drag” on personal freedom. But beyond the clickbait headline, the argument feels less like empowerment and more like a peculiar mix of insecurity and prescriptive life advice.
Now, at its essence, this article isn’t really about relationships, it’s about social media. Social media amplifies a paradox: women want the social benefits of being partnered without appearing “boyfriend-obsessed”. Interviews cited in the article reveal fears of the “evil eye,” online judgment, or a relationship ending and leaving embarrassing digital traces. Influencers report losing followers after posting romantic content, suggesting that audience perception now shapes how intimacy is displayed.
The piece also points to a broader cultural shift. For decades, women’s identities, both online and offline, were often framed around their partners. Now, in a world of rising singlehood trends and Instagram aesthetics, being single is the ultimate flex. Social media has transformed dating into a kind of performance, where announcing a relationship can diminish a person’s ‘cool factor’ and, conversely, single life is celebrated as independent, enviable, and content-rich.
While Vogue frames this as empowerment or rebellion, the reality is messier. Relationships aren’t inherently embarrassing and singling out ‘having a boyfriend’ as uncool risks trivialising personal choices. What’s really happening is that social media makes all romantic life highly visible, judged, and curated. The tension isn’t between love and independence; it’s between public perception and private life.
Then there’s the debate this article has sparked – has singlehood become the trend? Is having a boyfriend actually uncool? Should we all dump our boyfriends?
First, let’s acknowledge the appeal. Independence is important. Being confident, pursuing your passions, and not defining yourself by a relationship is valuable advice, especially for young women navigating school, work, or social life. But framing romance as inherently “embarrassing” ignores the nuance of human connection. Relationships aren’t a contest between freedom and authenticity - they can coexist with ambition, individuality, and self-expression.
What’s more, declaring that boyfriends are embarrassing is a subtle form of gatekeeping. It suggests there’s a “cool” way to live your life and a “lame” way, and that dating automatically lands you in the latter category. For a publication like Vogue, known for shaping ideals of beauty, success, and lifestyle, this kind of messaging is ironic. Aren’t readers supposed to feel empowered to make choices, not shamed for forming them?
The article also fails to consider context. For some people, a boyfriend or partner can be a source of support, joy, and inspiration. For others, choosing not to date makes perfect sense. Reducing all romantic experiences to embarrassment or inconvenience is reductive, and it risks alienating a large part of the audience who live balanced, happy lives that include relationships.
Finally, it’s worth pointing out the double standard. Society often tells women they must have a boyfriend to be complete, desirable, or socially acceptable. Now, Vogue seems to be swinging the pendulum in the opposite direction, insisting that having one is embarrassing. In both cases, the message is: your personal life is a public performance. Maybe empowerment would look like letting people make their own choices, without shame or judgment, whether that includes romance or not.
In the end, the article’s premise feels more performative than practical. Being single or being in a relationship isn’t a measure of coolness; it’s a personal choice. The real embarrassment is letting a glossy magazine dictate how we should feel about our love lives.
Takeaway: Whether you’re dating, single, or somewhere in between, your choices are valid. Vogue can keep giving life advice, but it can’t define your coolness - only you can do that.
Katie.