Sometimes things come together despite the whole world being against you. So it was for 2019’s Dartmoor trip.
It started as a wild dream. A fantasy. “What if we run a weekend climbing trip to Dartmoor?” I asked.
“Impossible,” came the reply. “That foul land has been cursed since Dave’s trip was snowed off in 2018.”
Nevertheless, I persisted. I found a hut. I found some crags. I booked vehicles. I called out to BUMC for comrades to join me in this endeavour, but when I needed them the most they did not come.
I labelled them traitors, and I cursed their name. How could they forsake me like this?! After everything I’d done for them they had simply kicked me to the curb, but still I refused to let the trip die. Ever so slowly I gathered together a bundle of loyal companions, henceforth known as the Steadfast Sixteen. They will remain forever in my memory for their outstanding courage.
We set out early on Saturday morning, allowing an extra 30 minutes for beauty sleep. After overcoming several diversions and routing errors, we reached Dartmoor and quickly set out to complete the day’s activities. The climbers set out for Bonehill Rocks, whilst the walkers headed off to tackle their walk.
Blessedly, the weather remained dry (despite consistent forecasts that it would be wet). For many of our members this was their first time bouldering outdoors, but from the way they gracefully ascended the rocks you wouldn’t be able to tell.
Many of us suffered near-fatal wounds from the sharp granite crystals typical of Dartmoor rock, but it was worth it to enable us to climb these phenomenal boulders. A blood exchange. A blood sacrifice.
Having climbed ourselves out for the day we all headed back to the hut, save for a group of us who had been entrusted to go to the local shops. It was on this journey when Ross Clayton made us aware that the legendary Buckfast Abbey was but a mere 5 miles away. Now this was a chance we couldn’t miss. This was epic.
It was on our pilgrimage that we found the elusive Buckfast bus service. We took this as a sign that fate was on our side. At one point we thought it had turned off from our route, but we quickly realised that this was only the classic Buckfast Bus Long-Cut Manoeuvre.
Upon arrival, we each took some time for our own quiet reflection. Buckfast Abbey loomed above us, its sheer walls housing a spark of genius unlike any other in the world. This would be a day to tell our grandchildren about.
Day two of the trip was equally as successful, however by this point of the trip report I’ve grown slightly tired of satirical writing and so I’ll keep it shorter than day one.
The walkers from our group headed off to do some more walks, whilst the climbers headed off to do some (surprise, surprise) climbs. Haytor was today’s location, with the goal being trad climbing. Ross Clayon and Oli Gibson formed a splinter group to do some more bouldering, since they were both suffering from “Enduritis” – a debilitating condition which stops the climber from making more than 6 moves without touching the ground.
For those of us trad climbing, it was quite literally a painful experience. The rock here was sharper even than the rocks at Bonehill the day before. Unfortunately I can’t describe much of what climbing went on that day, since I spent an hour and a half stuck up a very green VDiff route slicing my fingers open. Here’s a top tip for all of you out there – if a climb doesn’t have any stars, there’s usually a reason.
We finished off the day with several of our freshers learning anchor-building skills at the base of the crag.
And I think that’s it. That was our Dartmoor trip. The challenges overcome to make this trip a reality were astronomically mediocre.
This trip report is a bit of a mess isn’t it? It’s like one of those stories you write in primary school where you spend all this time building up to the main problem, decide you can’t be arsed, and then use the old classic “they woke up and it was all a dream”. Let’s be honest though, how many people have actually read all the way down to here? Not very many. This paragraph right here is for dedicated readers, VIP only. It’s intimate.
Ahem
Well anyway, thanks for listening.
Rob Haseler, Climbing Sec 2018 – 2020.