Manifesto
Hello people. I want to be chief of sporting relations at the university. what do i want to do. Good question, thanks for asking. I want to:
- disband all team sports , no one really likes them and they drain potential ice rink budget.
- no more score, if you want something fun to do on wednesdays, ill be doing a 1000 peice puzzle every week feel free to join!!
- let cows on the astro pitches, they will keep the grass short.
- freeze the pool so we can make a dope ice rink and finally get a curl on ;)
- get rid of the name SU sport from stuff , its not very inclusive is it? how bout we call SU good times, cuz thats all we're gonna be having
- Introduce compulsory surf memberships, this will increase student wellbeing by like 1000%
- hide half of the SU sporty budget on campus for students to find and spend on things they actually enjoy as opposed to lame membership fees
- lets finally replace parade with a big slip and slide students will get to places 20% more quickly and have 300% more fun. Anyone not sliding will face disciplinary action.
- lets fill the lake with a total wipe out course,anyone who fails the course has to resit the year maybe worse....
- fill founders hall with peng lazer tag arena with actual lasers from the physics department , last person standing gets a bid medal
- Lets let the SU sport officer have a year long holiday so they can relax and get a tan on
lets make bath uni a really fun place , and have good time
lots of love
papa xxxx